The Comfortable Lie Keeping You Uncomfortable

This one's gonna be rough - you'll see why later.

Think about that one particular thing you've been putting off.

The thing you've wanted to do for as long as you can remember.

You truly want to do it. You fully intend to do it. But you never start doing it.

Weeks, months, and years pass without you ever taking a single step down the new path.

You think about it.

You tell friends you'll do it.

You watch other people doing it on social media.

It weighs heavier on your mind with each passing day.

You get frustrated with yourself. You feel like you've fallen behind other people doing it. You even feel like you're a failure (at something you've never tried).

But no matter how loud the noise in your head gets, there's always one simple phrase that calms the storm… at least until you put the thing off again.

The comfortable lie that's been keeping you unhappy, unfulfilled, and uncomfortable:

"I'll start tomorrow."

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You're Not Alone

We've all told ourselves (and others) that lie more times than we can count.

I'm no exception.

To be honest… I've done it more than most people.

That's the reason why you probably don't remember who I am.

I'm Joey Justice. Retired engineer. Former performance coach. Ex-ghostwriter who wrote 600+ Twitter threads. Cofounder of Kortex - a small startup building the second brain app for creators. Oh, and most importantly, lover of all things purple.

You're getting this email because you signed up for my newsletter at some point over the past 6 years.

If you don't know, care, or remember who I am - you're welcome to unsubscribe. No hard feelings. Though in my (totally not biased) opinion, if you stick around, what I'll be writing about will be worth your time.

This is the first newsletter I've written since February 24, 2024. It's not that I haven't had the desire, or the ideas, or the time to write. It's that I let myself get knocked out of my writing routine a long time ago, and instead of getting back on it as soon as possible, I told myself "I'll restart tomorrow" for over a year.

But that's not the only times I told myself the comfortable lie.

I came up with a new direction for my content months ago but haven't yet done anything with it.

I waited years to truly lock in on my weight loss efforts.

I put off learning to dance for months.

Days, weeks, and months passed without me making progress (and for a long time I lost progress in areas like my weight).

I'd tell myself, tell my mom, tell my friends the same thing. I'll start tomorrow. Or Monday. Or on the 1st of the month. Whatever made sense at the time. I'd believe it, she'd support me, and friends would hype me up.

But for so long… I never followed through.

My belief in myself eroded. My mom's support turned to frustration about me not starting. My friends stopped cheering me on because they knew I wouldn't take action.

I'm not sure which of those 3 felt the worst. They all hurt in their own way. But they were all deserved.

I found myself telling the "I'll start tomorrow" lie more often than talking about what I did yesterday.

How many times have you said that phrase (to yourself or other people) recently?

Have you wondered why you do this?

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The Comfort Zone: An Uncomfortable Prison

The funny thing about your comfort zone is that it isn't actually comfortable.

It's predictable. It's familiar. It's safe.

But it damn sure ain't comfortable.

The annoying thing about the comfort zone is everything you want lies outside of it.

The body.

The skills.

The friends.

The girl (or guy).

The career (or business).

None of it can be achieved while you're operating within your comfort zone.

Our brain doesn't think this way. We humans naturally think that if something feels uncomfortable then it's bad for us.

But I'm sure you've noticed… the things that you know are good for you often feel bad in the moment.

Exercising hurts.

Meditation is boring.

Eating better is unsatisfying.

Talking to new people is awkward.

Writing something like this newsletter is scary.

Our brains are wired to survive the current moment, and in the short term, to avoid potential pain (physical or mental) in the current moment.

But what happens when your brain constantly steers you away from discomfort?

It keeps you from taking the first step toward what you truly want.

When I say "what you want", obviously I'm not talking about another McDonalds stop, another ice cold beer, or another game of League.

No. I mean the things you truly want. The health. The relationship. The meaningful work.

All of those things lie outside your comfort zone.

Beyond uncomfortable action.

The uncomfortable action you're avoiding is what keeps you uncomfortable every single day. You know you're capable of more. And yet your brain keeps you stuck safe in the same place you've always been.

"I'll try tomorrow" your conscious mind says.

"No we fucking won't" your subconscious mind replies (later).

I feel like I'm being preachy. That's not my intention. I'm trying to help you overcome an issue I've dealt with throughout most of my life.

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Dancing My Way Out of Jail

The best thing about the comfort zone is that it is - like many things in your brain - adaptable.

The action you've been putting off is uncomfortable today because you haven't done it in the past.

But, if you take the action today anyway, your brain (your comfort zone) will start to adapt, and then a magical thing happens:

It becomes a little less uncomfortable the next time.

Let me give you an example:

I'm a 35 year old guy from the South. So I grew up listening to 90's country and rap. I call Atlanta, Georgia home but last year I moved to Phoenix, Arizona for the sake of the company I'm building with my friends Dan Koe and Matthew Ao.

(side note - I wrote this newsletter with our app Kortex, and if you're interested in learning more about it, check out kortex.co - yes I am absolutely biased)

Anyway.

I've always been kind of a country boy at heart… but I never really tapped into that part of myself until I moved to Phoenix last year because of the whole western culture thing out here.

I took an interest in line dancing last summer. Basically, it's a solo dance done on the floor with a group, where you're following the choreography while synchronizing with the other people.

I kept meaning to go take a lesson. But… I kept putting it off. I was a big guy. I wasn't agile. I was obviously going to make a fool of myself.

So I kept procrastinating.

"I'll start tomorrow."

One day, on March 26th, I decided "fuck it", and went down to a place called Scootin' Boots to take my first lesson.

And you know what?

Nothing bad happened. I didn't trip. I didn't fall. I didn't embarrass myself while everyone pointed, stared, and laughed at me.

I awkwardly fumbled my way through two Morgan Wallen songs. I almost ran over some old lady. I learned some basic moves.

My first line dancing lesson was an uncomfortable experience.

But right away… I knew I was better off for it.

Since that night 8 weeks ago - I've been to 12 other line dancing lessons at various studios and bars around Phoenix. As of today I've done 51 dances total. I'll add to that total tomorrow night.

I went to a class this morning. I requested my favorite song (I See Country). I was at the front of the class doing it with the best of the students there.

Last Saturday, the instructor didn't know a certain song, so she asked me to go up to the front to lead the class.

I did my best. But I made a mistake late in the song. An intense moment led to screwing up.

But I laughed it off.

Accidents happen sometimes.

That's what my parents told me I was - and here we are.

8 weeks ago I would have never imagined myself even trying to lead a room full of people to do a certain song.

12 weeks ago I would have never imagined myself dancing amongst a room full of people.

Today I'm doing it because I had a goal, I figured out what actions I needed to take, and I pushed through the discomfort of doing those things.

It's often hard - but it is always necessary.

I'm not special.

I told this story about me learning line dancing because I hoped you'd see your own journey in it.

You want to improve in some sense. Better health. New skills. A partner in life. But the comfort zone has been holding you back from it.

It's time to break free.

Here's how to start:

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Breaking out of Psychological Jail

1. Make it Small

The biggest reason you never start? You're thinking way too big.

When I finally went line dancing, I didn't sign up for some 12-week course. I just committed to one lesson. That's it.

Make your first step so small that it feels almost pointless.

Don't try to write a book. Write one paragraph.

Don't try to learn a new instrument. Play a new chord.

Don't try to transform your entire body. Do 10 push-ups.

Your brain wants to keep you safe, but when the step forward is tiny, your brain can't find a good enough reason to stop you.

Then, once you start, momentum starts carrying you further than you think.

That's when compounding results start kicking in.

A uncomfortable line dance lesson turned into me not only going to that studio once a week - but now I'm going to bars dancing on my own (without someone telling me what to do with my feet).

2. Make a Plan

Starting can be the hardest part.

Well… it's not always the hardest part…

(tune in next week to hear about my first hand experience about when it isn't)

What worked for me with dancing was putting it on my calendar. Same time. Same place. Every week. The plan was set. Not going became the uncomfortable thing.

I went to San Diego in April to see Dan and Matt. Part of me was longing to go to my lesson even though I was a 7 hour drive away.

The next week I was sick. I couldn't go. But part of me was longing to go learn some new steps anyway.

Remember we talked about how the comfort zone shifts?

Eventually you take enough uncomfortable actions…

That not taking the action becomes uncomfortable.

For you it might be different.

Maybe you need an accountability partner. Maybe you need to track your progress visually. Maybe you need to reward yourself after.

Test different approaches until you find what turns that first step into a second, third, and more.

I put dancing lessons on my calendar. Then I started tracking the songs I learned in a spreadsheet like the nerd I am. Before I knew it, I was hooked, and my instructors tell other people about me.

3. Make the Pain Acceptable

The first time you do anything… you're gonna suck at it.

I almost ran over some poor elderly lady at Scootin Boots on March 18th, 2025.

A 300lb man flattening 90lb Dorothy who just wanted some cardio.

You think I wanna be on the local news for that shit? Hell no.

Thankfully both her and I are completely safe.

For now. Until she gets in my way again.

Anyway.

The first time I tried line dancing, I looked like a fat drunk giraffe who was just learning to walk.

Eight weeks later I was doing one of the hardest club songs in front of the class.

My natural ability didn't change. What changed was my willingness to be bad at something new. And yes - even in front of other people.

Your comfort zone will grow with each attempt.

What feels impossible today feels normal next month.

The awkwardness doesn't disappear. You just care about it less with each attempt.

Don't believe me? I am one of the few men who has the balls to line dance at a bar on any given night. I'm not special. I just step up. You can too.

Too many people choose to be invisible - "safe" - rather than take any kind of risk, be uncomfortable, and fail in any form.

I hope my first longform writing in 14 months helps you push past the discomfort and push into the person you deserve to be.

This newsletter was messy. I haven't written one in over a year. If you're still reading, thank you, and I appreciate you.

What you've been reading has been my latest way of pushing past "I'll start tomorrow" into the creator I want to be.

I hope you stick around for more.

See you next week.

Joey Justice

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